This is an interview with Ola Taiwo, as she shares her views on infertility and ways couple can do to overcome the stigma of infertility.
What factors are responsible for fertility problems?
I am not a doctor. I’m a certified Fertility Health Coach, and I’ll be answering this based on my training and experience in supporting individuals and couples navigating infertility. Fertility problems can stem from a wide-range of factors affecting both men and women. In women, common causes include ovulation disorders (like PCOS), blocked fallopian tubes, endometriosis, fibroids, or age-related decline in egg quality.
In men, issues such as low sperm count, poor sperm motility, hormonal imbalances, or structural blockages can play a significant role. In addition to these medical causes, several other factors are often overlooked. Untreated sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can damage the reproductive system in both men and women, especially when left unaddressed.
Something that may seem harmless; like mumps in childhood for boys can lead to fertility problems later in life if left untreated. Similarly, previous surgeries such as for appendicitis can sometimes cause pelvic infections or scarring, which may impact fertility, if complications go unmanaged. Lifestyle choices such as smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, chronic stress, poor nutrition, and exposure to environmental toxins can also affect fertility in both men and women. Importantly, in some cases, no clear cause is found. This is known as “unexplained infertility,” which can be especially distressing and requires a compassionate and supportive approach.
What advice can you give to couples having fertility issues?
First, please know this: you are not alone. Infertility is a medical condition, not a personal failure. The World Health Organisation (WHO) confirms that it affects one in six people globally. It’s not because of something you did wrong and it certainly doesn’t make you any less deserving of love, support, or parenthood. If you’ve been trying to conceive for over a year or six months if you’re over 35, please seek help early. Consult a fertility specialist and ensure that both partners are evaluated because fertility is a shared journey, not just a woman’s issue.
Surround yourself with support. Join a fertility support group to connect with others who truly understand what you’re going through. Be intentional about setting boundaries, protect your peace and avoid people or spaces that make you feel judged or inadequate. Listening to stories from others who have walked this road can also bring clarity, comfort, and courage. You can tune into podcasts like The Fertility Conversations Podcast, where individuals and experts share their personal journeys, medical insights, and real encouragement to help you feel seen, heard, and less alone. Ask questions.
Explore your options whether that’s medical treatments like IVF, lifestyle adjustments, or alternative paths to parenthood like donor conception, surrogacy, or adoption. Above all, be gentle with yourself. This journey can be long and unpredictable but you are worthy of support, compassion, and hope every step of the way.
What role can the society play in helping couples with fertility problems?
Society plays a critical role in shaping how people experience infertility and currently, much of that role adds to the burden. That must change. We must end the culture of insensitivity, silence, and blame, especially toward women. Infertility is a medical condition, not a punishment or a moral failure. And no; it’s not because someone “was promiscuous” in the past. Even virgins can experience infertility. Making such assumptions is harmful, outdated, and completely wrong.
Society must stop pressuring people with constant questions like, “When are you going to have a baby?” or implying they are “not real men” or “not real women” because they haven’t conceived. These comments are cruel and add emotional weight to an already heavy journey. Infertility affects people physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. What they need is kindness, not judgment. Support, not shame. Listening, not unsolicited advice. If someone shares that they are exploring IVF, surrogacy, adoption, or donor conception, please don’t respond with, “I don’t believe in that,” or “Why don’t you just try this?” Sometimes, the best form of support is simply to listen without judgment and only offer advice if asked.
We also need safe spaces and inclusive conversations in families, faith communities, workplaces, and media. Fertility challenges should no longer be taboo. Everyone deserves dignity, compassion, and understanding no matter how they choose to build their families. Let’s stop adding pressure. Let’s start being kinder.
How can women overcome the negative consequences of infertility?
If I may respectfully reframe this question, I’d like to address it for both women and men, because infertility affects both sexes emotionally, physically, socially, and spiritually. Male factor infertility is now known to contribute to 30–50 percent of all infertility cases worldwide. Yet men are often left out of the conversation, carrying silent grief, while women carry visible blame. Both experiences are real and deserve equal empathy. Infertility can deeply affect one’s identity, self-worth, relationships, and mental health. In cultures like ours where parenthood is equated with value, the emotional toll can be intense often leading to shame, depression, anxiety, and isolation. To overcome these negative consequences, both men and women need: Safe, non-judgmental support systems whether through therapy, support groups, or platforms like Fertility Conversations.
Accurate education to understand that infertility is a medical condition, not a personal failure. Spiritual encouragement, for those who draw strength from faith. Healthy boundaries with individuals or communities who offer hurtful, insensitive, or uninformed comments. People must be reminded that their value is not defined by reproduction. Parenthood can happen in many beautiful ways or not at all and either outcome does not diminish one’s worth. We also need to normalise emotional vulnerability in men. Men deserve permission to grieve, seek help, and know that fertility challenges do not diminish their masculinity. Healing begins with truth, support, and radical self-compassion and it continues with a community that sees you.
In your own opinion, what roles can government play?
Government has a vital role in transforming how infertility is understood and supported in our society. First, infertility must be officially recognized as a medical condition, which it is, according to the World Health Organization. Yet in many countries, including Nigeria, infertility is still excluded from many public health programmes, insurance coverage, and workplace benefits.
The government can: Subsidise or partially fund fertility treatments, such as IVF, to improve accessibility for lower- and middle-income families- Offer tax incentives to companies and insurance providers who include fertility care in employee benefit packages- Encourage insurance companies to recognize infertility as a treatable condition just like any other medical issue. In addition, the government can play a transformative role in education. Fertility and reproductive health should be taught in public schools and universities, including discussions about infertility and alternative paths to parenthood like IVF, surrogacy, and adoption. When children learn from an early age that infertility is a disease not a curse or moral failing and that families can be formed in many ways, we create a more compassionate and informed generation.
Other ways the government can contribute include: Funding public awareness campaigns to challenge stigma- Providing training for healthcare professionals to deliver inclusive, non-judgmental fertility care, supporting mental health services for individuals navigating infertility, pregnancy loss, or alternative paths to parenthood. In short, government support must go beyond policy; it should create a society where fertility conversations are normalised, treatment is accessible, and individuals are treated with dignity.
Source: TheGuardian
